So as soon as I wake up I’m going to go buy a phone.

It’s been 1 week and 5 days that I’ve been phones. Gotta admit it was fun!

But my love bug misses talking to me and my gay sweetie pie well just misses calling me fat and judging my dating life. Like if his is any better than mine.

Now I won’t have an excuse to not give out my number to guys. Ugh! Gotta go back to the “I have a boyfriend” lie.

The more I look at things the more easy they seem to actually be!

Like I’m so exited and its 4am in the morning. All I can smile about is going to New Zealand this summer.

Seriously I want to SCREAM AND SHOUT!!! (Lame Britney reference lol)

It’s good to know that money isn’t an issue. I’m not saying I’m super rich because I’m not but I work hard and I can save.

First I have to go to California to get a taste of the side of the hemisphere. Once I’m in San Diego it will only motivate me more to save money for my trip!!!!!

Super Duper Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Sometimes we have to provide our own”

I just work up at 12pm and I feel beaten the heck up!

Last night was SOBER FRIDAY!!!!

Seriously we did more than we probably would of done if we had done typical Friday night stuff.

Now I have to maybe possibly (hell no) workout. Then I need to get beautiful and go to work.

What I need to do is buy a phone! Ugh that can wait.

I DON’T WANT TO GO TO WORK. From 3:30 to 8:30.

The good thing it’s a short shift, I get out early, and when I do I’m already all dolled up!

Ok long story short last Friday I got shit faced drunk, helped my gay friend pee, made out with some gay guy, my girl friend got a 3rd degree burn on her leg, I was rolling around in my own vomit when my boss went to pick  me us up, and that’s pretty much what they told me happened. Yes I blacked out Crystal Style!

Anyways I lost my phone and ever since I haven’t  had the need to go buy a new one. Simply I just don’t care. Instead I’m going to use my money to buy a trip to San Diego, Pat Benatar concert tickets, 2 day passes to a music festival this summer, and food.

Oh yeah cause I have such a interesting life full of important events. NO!

The people that know me know where to find me, twitter, iMessage, or Tumblr.

Also last night I got thinking about my life and decided I want to leave so really there is no need for me to buy some fancy phone that wont work in another country…. INDEFINITE GOODBYE!

P.S. Don’t worry guys I’m not drinking excessively anytime soon. By excessively I mean blacking out. DAMN YOU VODKA!

I just finished working out and as I sit here drenched in sweat I’m also eating bread. SERIOUSLY????

Any who’s what I should be doing instead of wasting away on tumblr is taking a damn shower to shave my legs. Sometimes it’s a pain being a girl.

Then I have to do my makeup during The Vampire Diaries commercials (I FUCKING LOVE THAT SHOW).

Why must I practice clean hygiene well because I have to put on a mini skirt, heels, tease the hair, re-shower but this time with perfume, and cake on the makeup!

What I’m trying to say is that I have to go to work. I’m a cocktail waitress! For fucks sake not an expensive escort that caters to politicians… now that would be the ultimate gig lmao…. SCANDALOUS!

Yes I’m sexy and I do know it lol

Slowly but surely I’m letting go.

Nights like these I lay in bed and actually feel how it feels to not feel.

I truly thought I was going to rush and fix it but I haven’t.

Maybe tomorrow right now I’m going to sleep.

So I lost my phone because I’m a drunken fool. I have a small injury on my cheekbone. Well it hurts when I touch it but there is not bruise. My friend had it worse she has a 3rd degree burn on her leg. We still don’t know how it happened.

This past Friday I totally blacked out. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten shit face drunk. Honest to God I never want to drink like that again.

Today Sunday I had time to go disconnect my phone and I could of bought a new one right then and there but I didn’t.

I want to be excommunicated from the world for a couple of days. I’m not even sad that some of my contacts I might never again recover.

Especially this one guy who I thought about perusing romantically. Guess this is a sign from life that I need time to focus on me.

Goodnight!

It’s silly to say that today I learned something new, everybody is the same. No one is different.

We all have vibrant fears, unimaginable dreams, and shattered hope.

Just living to die.

I’m ok with that :)

I can’t believe that the only reason why I’m going out tonight (besides the fact that I look pretty) is to go get high.

Since I’m not drinking cause its bad I might as well indulge in something else besides food.

I just ate fast food, dammit!

Gosh I fit the profile of young bored America

So I’m here listening to music and I have a playlist called “poptastic”.

With artist like Britney, Madonna, Paula Abdul, Beyonce, etc. basically a gay man’s dream.

So it’s been awhile that I haven’t heard “Girl Gone Wild” by Madonna a.k.a. the queen.

I go and YouTube the video and that turns into the live performance video and holy shit now I have to watch the entire MDNA tour.

Like I NEED to watch it in order to survive and keep the balance of earth in place!!!!

Seriously not overreacting just stating the truth!

See y’all in an hour or so! I’m not even going to work out lol

I have no idea why but I only seem to attract and meet people who smoke weed.

There is something about me that is a huge magnet for that sort of crowd.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve done it, I do it, and I will keep doing it. (I don’t do it regularly I smoked 3 weeks ago after almost 6 months). I doubt I’ve ever have actually purchased weed for my consumption.

Seriously do I give off this stoner vibe or something? I truly don’t mind people smoking, it’s better than shooting up heroine or snorting coke.

“Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway.” — Mary C. Crowley

I live by this quote (ok more like sleep like a baby with this quote)

I have no idea how I’m getting to work but He always knows how to provide. He has done it not once but countless other times.

Like my pastor said “People struggle with today because they forgot about yesterday”.

Night loves

I’m going crazy because I don’t have a car since Friday afternoon.

I seriously don’t know how I’m going to work in the morning.

It’s hard to ask for someone to give me a ride early in the morning. Nobody wants to get up.

It’s been almost 3 days and my car is still not ready.

Fuck it I’ll just go get an art and architecture history degree.

Be a freelance artist for interior design firms.

Work for an art gallery or museum. If push comes to shove I can be a professor. I love talking and giving lectures.

Yup that’s the plan!

Going back to what I love. My passion history and my hobby art.

It’s a little bit past 2 am and I’m fully awake. Cause I don’t work tomorrow, oh yeah!!!!

But I do have to get my fat ass up from bed or the couch either one to exercise. Haven’t done that in months maybe November.

Yeah I gained like 20 pounds so hmm can’t fit into those dresses I bought on Black Friday.

If its pretty outside (not rainy just windy) I would like to go for a run. Yet I’m scared because not only am I out of sync but I have been smoking on occasion. Yeah I know no bueno!

Wish me luck and hope I don’t die.

Goodnight and hope we are fortunate enough to be blessed in the morning by waking up one more day.