Open the gates and let the flood of tears rush out faster than the thoughts I actually cry about.
I just removed the bandages that keep the heart together and it hurts just about the same as it did before.
I allowed myself to remember how you feel. I can honestly feel you. I know the warmth of your skin, the softness of your hair, I can hear your heartbeat… your taste.
Yet I don’t want to remember your voice. It will never say what I wanted to hear.
Home Sweet Home
It feels so good to be back to Texas.
I can honestly say that New York City is just not for me. On the other hand I fell in love with Toronto in Canada.
Now the trip was so much fun and exciting until the very end.
I’m off to bed because this girl right here has work in the morning.
Goodnight tumblr and I missed you.
Leaving The Nest
So I’m moving out! ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!!!
Me and my co-worker will be roomies and seriously we are alike. Except she truly is a vegan (I’m slowly getting there, not I just had a burger).
We found a nice place we are 86% serious about. Hopefully it all goes great and we get it.
In the meantime I’m dedicating my time and energy in decorating it. I already spent $200+ on my bathroom. Yeah you can imagine the rest.
If you don’t know now you will know that I FUCKING love furniture. As an interior design student it’s mandatory right?
I already uploaded some of the pieces I’m thinking of purchasing. Definitely worth every penny!
Wish me luck!!!!
Omg I’m super duper excited that soon I will be moving out of my parents house (finally!) and into an apartment I will be sharing with my co-worker/friend/little whore in training lol
I can’t wait for June to get here!
First things first like as in tomorrow I will be going after church to check furniture. As an interior design student lets just say it will be an orgasmic experience.
Then me and my future roommate along with my other BFF will be embarking on a trip up north. May 9th get here faster!!!
Things couldn’t possibly be getting better than this but they will, even if there are still those you know what moments.
Oh how I missed the Saturday nights where I would stay home on tumblr.
Seriously today the city of Houston is underwater.
It’s still raining with thunder and lightning.
I decided to not go to work and not go out. What’s the point.
So yeah I’m just going to be torturing myself with photos of the food I wish I could eat (but can’t cause it’s late) then look at the photos of skinny girls in swim suits.
It’s such a love hate relationship tumblr!
Fuck you tumblr
I always seem to find something that takes me back to that moment in time. You know the “dark” ones.
Just when you think it’s gone whatever happens to be leftover, the scar, seems to creep up under you.
“You were to sad to love yourself so I loved you enough for both of us”
How true was that!
I Need A New Me
I am in so much fucking pain!
On Wednesday at 8:30 am I had a kickboxing class and holy glittery balls it kicked my ass!
So today Thursday I woke up sore as if an 18 wheeler ran over my body 63681405720 times.
Yeah I’m so out of shape. I need to stop smoking, and drinking, and eating bad, eating late, eating carbs, sleeping late, and being lazy. Pretty much I gotta stop being myself.
My Real Life Ken
I went on a date with basically the most perfect guy ever!!!
Originally from the Midwest but so far he is living in Houston because of work.
Seriously this guy is gorgeous, funny, over 6 feet, smart, just under 30, fit, good looking, and nerd. Well I mean he is white, wait a ginger actually (I always think white guys have a nerdy side idk why).
He also is responsible since he has an important position at work and is a homeowner. Travels a lot just for fun because like me he wants to experience the world. A major plus is that his best friend is gay so you know he supports the LGBT community.
My friends told me they would be mad if I screwed things up with him. THEY ARE ON HIS SIDE! How rude!!!!!
If I was a 23 year old looking to get married this would be THE guy. Sadly I’m not and watch me sabotage myself like I always do.
Should I or should I not that pursue this guy? That is the question.
In the no know
Who am I?
Sometimes I don’t even want to know.
I run, I dream, I daze, and I scream.
Never really admitting to myself who I am.
Knowing who I am is too scary so I much rather focus on who I will be.
That hasn’t happen which means its not real. If its not real it doesn’t exist. If it doesn’t exist then there is no need to know.
And that’s how I’ll go asking “Who am I?” and replying “I have time to find out”.
The problem is you don’t have time. But I don’t know that because it hasn’t happened and if it hasn’t happened its not real, and if its not real it doesn’t exist. Then there is no need to know.
IM SO FAT!!!!
Like you have no idea OMG it’s ridiculous.
My thighs and hips are and always will be my biggest problem area.
So if I gain weight immediately stuff won’t close, fit, or zip down there in that bottom region.
How I came to the conclusion was that I was becoming Regina George in Mean Girls; wearing sweats. Hello elastic, UNFORGIVABLE!
Then on the other hand if I lose weight for some reason I don’t look good thin. I’m naturally really bony (even with this weight on me) so can you imagine thinner. I’ll be a skeleton.
It’s so hard to find a balance. If I was thinner I wish I didn’t look like some frail skeleton but if I was fatter I wish I had a proportionate curvy body.
Party Has A Curfew
I’m home how boring!
At least tomorrow I’m hanging out with my girls to swap stories about boys and money. Ah the life.
This spring break was ok but then again every weekend for me is spring break. I love my job and the shifts that I work.
Today is one of those crazy nights where new things happened and memories were made.
I won’t lie part of me isn’t all too fulfilled but then I again I have more to come this week. Yeah finish what I started about a year ago.
But that’s another story I will write its own little chapter on later in the future. First we gotta make it happen!
Holy shit im walking by myself along.the beach.
I met some guy who bought me some drinks and i left with him. His friend then joined us and they were so much fun.
Obviously i lost my real friends and and now im waiting for them. But i just keep walking along the beach
I really need to pee! Asap!
Nap Time Over
Fell asleep super early around 9 or something and I just woke up.
Basically that was a nap grrr!
At least I don’t work tomorrow (or today whatever).
I’m so glad for Netflix and tumblr lol
I Was Suppose….
To dye my hair,
Go to church,
Go to the store,
Fill up my gas tank,
Instead all I did was wake up late, eat, and assemble a dresser for my sister.
So much for my day off!
So as soon as I wake up I’m going to go buy a phone.
It’s been 1 week and 5 days that I’ve been phones. Gotta admit it was fun!
But my love bug misses talking to me and my gay sweetie pie well just misses calling me fat and judging my dating life. Like if his is any better than mine.
Now I won’t have an excuse to not give out my number to guys. Ugh! Gotta go back to the “I have a boyfriend” lie.